January 17, 2011

Jesse's Junk

A Misadventure

Friday. I'm on my way home, standing on the crowded subway, and at this point it would be just after four PM. Coming up on Dupont, one stop before mine, a woman brushes past me so she can get off. As she does, she grabs my junk. This is not an accident. She cups; there is pressure. I'm wearing a winter coat which she had to reach under.

This is mostly just exasperating and confusing. I look around to see if anyone had noticed, particularly at a girl sitting in front of me and if she raised her head, would have direct line of sight to my crotch, but she's looking down at a DS and she, as well as everyone around me, makes no indication that she had seen anything unusual. So I look over to the woman who had done the deed, as she's still standing at the door, and after a few seconds, she turns and looks at me, meeting and holding my gaze, but with an expression so neutral it makes me momentarily second-guess that it hadn't been an accident. Then the door chimes, she leaves, and I am left still perplexed on a crowded subway to ponder what just happened.

This woman had a very innocuous appearance. She was wearing a long black winter jacket and one of those puffy winter hats. She was carrying a shopping bag. She had glasses. I'd guess she was in her sixties. She looked like any number of old women you'd see at church. She has successfully re-validated my suspicion of everyone. I'm sorry I can't give a more thorough description, and so can't help you avoid the same strange confusion that accompanied the incident. My advice, then, is just keep your eye on everybody, because you never know.

That photo I grabbed without asking from this guy's Flickr.

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