And Then I Got High Street

Product Review: High Street Chocolates

So I'm on the way home on New Year's Eve and stop in at a nearby Loblaws to grab some snacks and stuff for the party at my house that night. Luckily I had gone to the LCBO early in the morning and avoided the line curling out of the liquor store and into the parking lot. After covering my bases on the cheese and cracker platter (which was a big hit), I realize we won't really have any candies or sweets and so I go look for a tin of Quality Street. But all they have left are the PC brand knock-off, High Street.

I don't claim to know what goes into making a good chocolate. The process by which chocolate is made eludes me completely. Sometimes I hear it comes from milk, other times from a bean, it is a confusing a disturbing world of dark culinary science which I have no desire to involve myself with. But I will say that I am a man who likes his candy and when I get the good shit, I can tell the difference. So let me say that this was not the good shit.

Now Quality Street's no hell, either. But it's got a good variety, it's presented attractively with its bright multi-coloured wrappers, and it tastes good. High Street doesn't even bother to pretend it's not trying to emulate Quality Street, what with the synonymous name and virtually identical array of coloured wrappers, but it falls short in a lot of ways. It's got twelve flavours, but they all seem to be varieties on just two or three base flavours: chocolate and toffee. There are no fruit cremes, which is points against, in my book. Plus, they're all really hard, so you feel like you're eating stale candy. Frankly, it was a horrific embarrassment, and if it hadn't been for my cheese platter and Pam and Jill's hors d'oeuvres I doubt the party would have recovered.