Big

Let's Make Sandwiches

November 2006

This was a joke about a pretty stupid Mr. Big ad campaign pretending that the chocolate bar was unbearably huge and heavy (making this, I guess, slightly more topical than usual. I was disappointed in the art because I wanted to have him with his face turned slightly towards the foreground, but couldn't do that without making the head look like it had detached.

News From Over There

TV Review: Fringe, "Immortality"

I had high hopes going into this week's Fringe, directed as it was by Brad Anderson whose other episodes this season have been "The Plateau" and "Entrada," the two best episodes this season (easily) and arguably among the best of the series - top ten material at the very least. This was also the first episode since "Entrada" to return to the other universe which is always a lot of fun. Not just for the zany balls-out science fiction it necessarily embraces but also because we get to see Charlie Francis back in action, as well as the luscious Lincoln Lee, played by Seth Gabel, a hotter, more talented version of Joshua Jackson.

Though this episode didn't make it to the same level as Anderson's earlier episodes, it's probably the best since the move to Friday nights. As it was completely divorced from our universe (I believe it's the first episode to have no characters from our side) and featured its own indigenous villain, we were able to see the alternate team as protagonists and more human characters. A very good touch early on was demonstrating that Walternate was unwilling to experiment on children - a step our pre-crazy Walter took frequently and which resulted in one ruined life after another. Walternate's always been a ruthless and focused antagonist in some aspects (such as dealing with Broyles), but he very clearly has his head on straight. Similarly, as Fauxlivia is reunited with her sexy boyfriend Frank, we get to see the sincere side of her, whereas during her stay in our world we more equated her with deceit. And when that relationship falls apart after we got to see how happy they were together, it's legitimately moving.

Killer roaches are at the heart of this episode, which of course immediately conjures up scenes from "War of the Coprophages," a very memorable X-Files, but the episode's villain takes the idea and makes it immediately more Fringe-y by being on a quest to cure some disease through a roach enzyme, but because these particular roaches were parasites to sheep and sheep are all extinct in this world (as of the 80s), he had to engineer a species that could subsist on another creature, and the only viable alternative turned out to be man. The extinct sheep thing is another of the other side's conventions, introducing elements present or absent in this world through exposition casual enough to sell it.

The final confrontation is pretty cool, and Lee is a much more convincing action hero than Peter. The "Is Fauxlivia dying?" fake-out actually had me going for a bit, despite maybe being a bit of a stretch (that's some very timely morning sickness) but really that's a hard complaint to lodge when I'm watching Fringe. Which is of course the big reveal here: Fauxlivia is pregnant, and with Peter's kid; and she still loves him. While the looming love triangle - or more specifically, its significance to the fate of the universe - has me bracing myself, it's nice that they're willing to throw in some obstacles to at least make it seem like it's not quite so clear cut that Peter will choose Olivia.

Joke

Let's Make Sandwiches

October 2006

The idea of a joke with a missing punchline was one of the earliest I had, and the only thing that kept it from coming out before it did was that I couldn't think of a good enough setup. I had even drawn all the panels before I knew what it would be. It was my then-roommate Jordan who got me started with "How about there's two guys, and one of them has like a funny hat or something."

Years of Decline

Part 4 of a Mortal Kombat Retrospective

In the lapse between Mortal Kombats 3 and 4, the franchise had still been busy. 1996 saw the release of animated show Mortal Kombat: Defenders of the Realm. There wasn't much to the series, and it suffered from the same problems the film encountered, but it was the first appearance of Quan Chi, who would become one of the more popular post-MK3 characters. The animation was cool, and had serviceable voice acting, including Ron Perlman, Luke Perry, Olivia d'Abo, and Clancy Brown.

Mortal Kombat 4 was announced as the first game in the series to take the step into 3D, using computer-rendered models and larger fighting arenas. With Shao Kahn's story largely played out, the game focused instead on the fallen elder god, Shinnok (first introduced as Noob Saibot's master in Mortal Kombat 3), and his invasion of Edenia, Kitana's home realm which had been freed from Outworld.

As production was still going on Mortal Kombat 4, it was announced that Midway would also release a platform adventure game, Mortal Kombat Mythologies: Sub-Zero. Players would take control of the first Sub-Zero and engage on a quest through the game world set in the mid-80s. The game used 2D sprites in 3D backgrounds. The story fleshed out Sub-Zero, Scorpion, and the new villains for Mortal Kombat 4. Mythologies was easily the most story-intensive game at the time, retracing Sub-Zero's murder of Scorpion and elaborating on the respective forces in the game: rival clans Lin Kuei and Shirai Ryu, and Shinnok's demonic Brotherhood of the Shadow. It lay the groundwork for much of Mortal Kombat 4, and introduced many new characters such as Fujin, Sareena, and Shinnok himself. John Tobias also released an extensive history of the Mortal Kombat universe, revealing details about Kahn's rise to power and the relationship between realms and villains. The game reviewed poorly due to generic gameplay and a surplus of full-motion video sequences that looked very very silly, but was still a success.

Within weeks of Mythologies, Mortal Kombat 4 was released. New features included the ability to draw weapons, sidestep, and select alternate costumes. Ultimately, the fighting engine did little despite being 3D to improve upon its predecessor, and the voices of the characters were kind of grating - spouting indecipherable gibberish throughout the fight. Luckily, it did away with all finishing moves save two Fatalities each. Hoping to revitalize the series by adding some new blood, the developers opted to introduce new characters to fill the shoes of some of the classics. Returning characters included Liu Kang, Sonya, resurrected Johnny Cage, Scorpion, Sub-Zero, Raiden, Jax, and an unmasked Reptile. Filling out the cast's new additions were former Outworld general Reiko, African monk Kai, Black Dragon thug Jarek, Edenian traitor Tanya, wind god Fujin, and of course Shinnok himself and his treacherous henchman, sorcerer Quan Chi. Noob Saibot was a hidden character, Goro returned as a sub-boss, and there was also the strange hidden fighter Meat, who was the skinless model used for fatalities.

Despite having a video introduction and video endings for each character, the game suffered once again from poor storytelling, relying largely on the comic and Mythologies to tell its story for it. To those playing the game, Goro's return was out of nowhere and there was no in-game indication that he had become good. With with little base and unclear roles in the game, many of the new characters faded quickly into obscurity in the minds of players. I particularly recall Jarek and Tanya being a little difficult to nail down, as they are alternately described as good and bad. Meanwhile, some returning characters had inexplicable roles in the story, particularly Reptile. Mortal Kombat 4 became the last arcade release of the series.

About a month after the game's release, Mortal Kombat: Annihilation was released in theatres, a sequel to the earlier film and ostensibly an adaptation of Mortal Kombat 3's storyline. This time, most fans will agree with me when I say this film sucked and sucked hard, and by comparison the first film was far superior; even I'll admit that. Annihilation attempted to feature all the characters, but with such a large cast, many fighters appeared almost as cameos and are killed quickly - Baraka and Mileena are each in one scene and are not addressed by name. Most of the roles had been recast (all but Liu Kang and Kitana), the director had been replaced, and the production values were abysmal - complete with stop motion animation that looked like they were pre-Ray Harryhausen. It smacked of a terribly low budget, and for a film that seemed concerned with catering to fans rather than making a decent movie, it wasn't that violent at all, and became the same bland moralizing fairy tale as its predecessor. It bombed at the box office, was ripped to shreds by reviews, and currently holds an embarrassing 7% on Rotten Tomatoes.

The following year, the franchise branched out once more to television, this time as a live-action spin-off of the movies called Mortal Kombat: Konquest (although in Canada and potentially elsewhere it was spelled Conquest). Konquest told the story of the original Kung Lao and his adventures after his initial victory over Shang Tsung, along with his buddies Siro and Taja (played by a pre-famous Kristanna Loken) and guided by Raiden. Set in an unspecified time in the distant past and in the city of Zhu Zin, Shang Tsung and Shao Kahn sent monsters and assassins after Kung Lao each episode, these frequently being characters from the game. The show wasn't very good from a technical standpoint, but this was in 1998 when Sam Raimi's Hercules: The Legendary Journeys and Xena: Warrior Princess were at the height of their popularity and had spawned a handful of medium-budget action-oriented imitators, so that was pretty much par for the course. Though the show actually pulled in high ratings, particularly in the UK and Australia, the budget demands were too high and the show was cancelled.

In 1999, a redone version of MK4 called Mortal Kombat Gold was released for the Sega Dreamcast, advertised as a great graphical improvement, taking advantage of the Dreamcast's better technology, and added six classic characters to the roster: Kitana, Kung Lao, Baraka, Mileena, Cyrax, and unlockable Sektor, as well as a few new arenas. But where Mortal Kombat 4 was generally treated with indifference, Gold was very harshly reviewed. The graphical update was negligible, which was inexcusable in the face of considerably better-looking games on the Dreamcast, particularly when compared to Soul Calibur. The additional characters were handled poorly, too, but this was pretty much status quo for MK4. Kung Lao's return after his apparent death in Mortal Kombat 3 was a little lackluster; it was claimed that he faked his death and came out reluctantly from retirement, when it would've been easy to tie in his return to the Netherealm like they did with Mileena (who had also died in MK3, and so her return in Shinnok's forces made some sense). Baraka suffered from the same problem Reptile had; he seemed out of place in the regime of a villain he had never previously served. In terms of gameplay, everyone was serviceable, but ultimately it did nothing to address the concerns critics had with the original iteration, and was mostly considered a failure.

By this time, Midway had announced that the success of Mythologies had prompted them to begin development on other action titles. One involving Liu Kang was mentioned, but the one that was confirmed as in production was Mortal Kombat: Special Forces, which would focus on Sonya and Jax in a battle against Kano, Jarek, and other members of the Black Dragon. Originally, this looked all right and was a cool idea, and fans were optimistic. We were shown both Jax and Sonya, and told that we would learn how Kano lost his eye, and meet a pre-scar Kabal. However during production co-creator John Tobias as well as other developers left Midway, and what was originally going to be a much more involved game came to be short and fairly stupid. Special Forces was released only on the Playstation with little promotion, and there was no sign of either Sonya or Kabal, nor any explanation for Kano's eye. It's generally agreed to be the absolute worst game of the franchise, and bombed amongst fans and critics alike. Many avid fans haven't even heard of it, and it's the only game in the franchise that I haven't played and have no plans nor desire to.

Meanwhile, Midway wasn't doing so good in general. Despite consistent releases, the company was experiencing yearly financial losses and had begun closing off departments one by one. Mortal Kombat was one of its highest banking franchises, but suffered from overexposure and was getting ripped apart. With even diehard fans losing interest, Mortal Kombat slipped off the radar.

The Superior of All is the Servant of All

Movie Review: Black Narcissus

I find I kind of have to steel myself a little when I watch older movies. What can I say? I'm a child of the nineties. Style and pacing in older movies sometimes call for a little extra patience, especially if you haven't seen that many. It does get easier with time, and it can be a very worthwhile investment. I had the opportunity to buy Black Narcissus, a 1947 film by Michael Powell and Emeric Pressburger, but decided against it, and my roommate Pamela picked it up instead. Which was lucky, because it was awesome.

Black Narcissus tells the story of a group of five nuns trying to establish a convent in a remote Himalayan palace. Donated by a local general, they discover that it played host to his former harem. The nuns are in a distant, foreign land, outsiders amongst the locals, and each has a story behind her. Memories that they had long forgotten begin to drift up to the surface until they can think of nothing else. There is a mysticism to the local community that gradually encroaches upon them. Slowly, the sisters begin to unravel, in particular its proud leader, Deborah Kerr's Sister Clodagh, and Sister Ruth played with a desperate insanity by Kathleen Byron, who was already ill, potentially with syphilis, when they arrived. The situation spirals out of control and climaxes at something of a surprising crescendo.

Story aside, the movie's fucking gorgeous. It was apparently considered a benchmark of technicolour cinematography, and it's very easy to see why. Though most of the vistas are matte paintings, they're magnificently detailed, and really benefit from the Criterion restoration we watched. The use of shadows, colours and lights are put to great effect, and some scenes are shot with such dramatic technique I wonder what else I'm missing from 1947.

Black Narcissus is also interesting to watch in context of its time because despite being from 1947, a time when India was still in the British Empire, it seems indifferent to the principles of Christianity as well as the (I guess Hindu) religion of the region. Neither is given much stock, and the story plays out with a certain observational apathy in that regard. Characters moralize every now and then, but it seems to be coming from a hollow and ultimately tragic place. Maybe it doesn't help to contextualize it like this, but that it came out so shortly before India gained independence may have some significance. If the movie has any moral at all, it's that just because your heart's in the right place and you think you're helping, you don't know what you're doing so far out of your element. Not only will you fuck things up, but they'll fuck you up, too.

What Other People Are Thinking

TV Review: Fringe, "Concentrate and Ask Again"

This week's Fringe seemed more committed to being a monster-of-the-week episode. Despite a recap detailing the First People and the doomsday device, the plot was more like a season one episode, with nondescript one-off villains attacking people who kind of deserve it with bizarre and usually disgusting methods. Throw in a Cortexiphan kid for good measure.

The episode starts off with a strange exchange between Nina and Olivia. I guess now that Walter owns Massive Dynamic Nina's not quite as dubious a character, but Olivia's not very forthcoming on the best of times and given their past and Nina's constant cloak and dagger routines I thought it odd that Olivia would be so familiar with her, going so far as to comment on the state of her relationship with Peter. Although I suppose this was as good a setup as any for that conversation with Peter that seems to be a feature of every episode. This time, Olivia confronted Peter to see if he still has feelings for her alternate, and Peter gives her a speech about how much he loves this Olivia. But he's given her the same speech so many times I feel like he should be at the point of telling her off when she rubs his nose in it week after week, despite fairly transparent passive aggression. If this episode is any indication, unfortunately, their relationship (and Peter's accidental infidelity) is only going to become more central to the show as the series progresses.

Nina takes her usual place in the dugout fairly early on, but has more screen time this episode than she has in a while, but still hasn't really elaborated her character at all. She describes her relationship with William Bell as "complicated," and muses to herself on his many secrets. Does anyone else remember that she and Broyles made out like two years ago? Was that just one crazy weekend or something? Either way, it adds some sexy tension to a scene shared between them and CIA correspondent Agent Edwards played by the delicious JR Bourne. "What Nina Sharpe wants, she gets." Do I see a three-way in the future? Cross your fingers.

Despite being largely about Peter, he's not actually that involved in the plot - no acknowledgement is given to the "Peter might be going crazy" element introduced last week. The bad guys here are trying to use a chemical weapon that dissolves bones and when the only lead is in a coma, Walter tries bringing in telepathic Cortexiphan kid, new character Simon Philips, to stop the weapon from being used again.

Telepathy is definitely no stranger to X-Files, particularly with recurring character Gibson Praise, and Simon's need to exile himself from society because hearing people think drives him crazy is reminiscent of an episode ("Tin Man") of Star Trek: The Next Generation. Fringe doesn't really add anything in that capacity, but Simon was a welcome addition to the roster, if perhaps a tad convenient for him to be necessary right when Olivia's trying to sort out what Peter is thinking. I'll be curious to see what (if anything) the show decides to do with Simon, as Olivia's immunity to his powers could propel her to involve herself in his life. Fringe seems to know better than to have characters using superpowers on a regular basis, and while I don't advocate having Simon the mind-reader helping out on every case, it would be nice to give Olivia an alternative love interest to Peter, if for no other reason than to add another factor to the newest reveal from Sam Weiss. Simon is also another reminder to Walter that he spent many years indiscriminately ruining lives. They share an exchanged glance that may have been one of the best moments of the episode. Another being Anna Torv in an evening dress.

Now that Fauxlivia is out of the picture and we're not alternating weekly between Universe A and Universe 1, Fringe has had to focus in on some plot points that seem insignificant in comparison to what's come before. Fauxlivia's involvement added some great tension to every scene she was in, and we also benefited from having Charlie and Lee who are both much cooler characters than Peter. Obviously it couldn't last forever, but now it feels like we're treading water waiting for it to get awesome again. I'm not worried that it won't get back into the groove, or whatever - 24 episode seasons are long seasons, these days - and it seems to have consistent ratings so it probably won't just up and get cancelled. But we may be in the middle of a slight dry spell.

Bear

Let's Make Sandwiches

October 2006

This one didn't quite reaches the jagged peaks of hilarity we had earlier achieved. When originally conceived, it was supposed to be a lobster, so the steam room thing would've made more sense. Unfortunately, lobsters are very hard to draw, and the whole reason we went with a one-panel comic was because we were both too busy to come up with anything good. Y'know what's really easy to draw? Polar bears. Yes, it's a polar bear. Note the white.